Orange Jumpsuit Day

Bye bye, Dubya's fund-raiser:

A prominent Republican fund-raiser for President George W. Bush in Ohio has been charged with illegally funneling money to Bush's re-election campaign, a federal prosecutor said on Thursday.

A federal grand jury in Toledo charged Thomas Noe with making illegal contributions in the names of others to the Bush campaign and with making false statements to the Federal Election Commission.

The three counts lodged against Noe each carry a maximum sentence of five years in prison and a fine.

And Mr. Rove and Mr. Libby:

"You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney."

So gather your lawyers:

Two sources said I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, was shopping for a white-collar criminal lawyer and White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove began assembling a public relations team in the event they are indicted.

At the White House, aides scrambled to put the finishing touches on a political strategy to respond to the fallout from any criminal charges, including the likelihood of staff changes. A Republican consultant with close White House ties said Chief of Staff Andrew H. Card Jr. had canceled at least two trips in the past week and had met with Bush over the weekend to focus on how to react to the grand jury's decisions.

"These will be very, very dark days for the White House," the consultant quoted Card as saying.

Hah! My dark days started in 2001.

Anyway, just remember... Don't drop the soap. And if you do, don't pick it up.

[[ update ]]

Oh, Scooter... I'm sure Dick will miss you very much.

Lawyers in the C.I.A. leak case said Thursday that they expected I. Lewis Libby Jr., Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff, to be indicted on Friday, charged with making false statements to the grand jury.

Karl Rove, President Bush's senior adviser and deputy chief of staff, will not be charged on Friday, but will remain under investigation, people briefed officially about the case said. As a result, they said, the special counsel in the case, Patrick J. Fitzgerald, was likely to extend the term of the federal grand jury beyond its scheduled expiration on Friday.

My oh my... It feels like Christmas Eve.

Have you noticed...

That the Bible Belt conservatives bemoaning the end of the world or, less extremistly, the spirit of America, are supporting the wrong party? The government is predominantly Republican. They're supposed to be working FOR the conservatives. You know how a lot of these people are conspiracy theorists, ranting about liberal government plots to bring upon the apocalypse? You know how they hold up individuality as their beacon, and point fingers at police states in other countries?

Looks like their fears have some merit. Too bad this bill comes not from the evil Democrats...but by their fellow conservatives in Congress.

In one example cited by Human Rights Watch, "an individual could be sentenced to death for providing financial support to an organization whose members caused the death of another, even if this individual did not know or in any way intend that the members engage in acts of violence."

Does this mean we can stop paying taxes? The nice man comes to your doorstep soliciting donations, and like a good boy you give him $20. Five years and a terrorist plot later, you're dead. No, not because you got carbombed, you were just executed because that nice man gave that $20 to less savory characters. Will we have to do the whole Miranda thing before soliciting donations now? "You have the right to close your door. You have the right to question our affiliations to possible terrorist groups. Please know that in the event that this money goes to an organization whose members cause the deaths of others, you may be sentenced to death. Please give us money?"

So who's behind this nefarious amendment to the aptly named Patriot Act? Some acid-veined liberal, breathing smoke out of his nose? No, it's actually Rep. John Carter (R - Tex). Oops. Looks like the apocalypse is actually coming out of right field. Literally.