Have you noticed...

That the Bible Belt conservatives bemoaning the end of the world or, less extremistly, the spirit of America, are supporting the wrong party? The government is predominantly Republican. They're supposed to be working FOR the conservatives. You know how a lot of these people are conspiracy theorists, ranting about liberal government plots to bring upon the apocalypse? You know how they hold up individuality as their beacon, and point fingers at police states in other countries?

Looks like their fears have some merit. Too bad this bill comes not from the evil Democrats...but by their fellow conservatives in Congress.

In one example cited by Human Rights Watch, "an individual could be sentenced to death for providing financial support to an organization whose members caused the death of another, even if this individual did not know or in any way intend that the members engage in acts of violence."

Does this mean we can stop paying taxes? The nice man comes to your doorstep soliciting donations, and like a good boy you give him $20. Five years and a terrorist plot later, you're dead. No, not because you got carbombed, you were just executed because that nice man gave that $20 to less savory characters. Will we have to do the whole Miranda thing before soliciting donations now? "You have the right to close your door. You have the right to question our affiliations to possible terrorist groups. Please know that in the event that this money goes to an organization whose members cause the deaths of others, you may be sentenced to death. Please give us money?"

So who's behind this nefarious amendment to the aptly named Patriot Act? Some acid-veined liberal, breathing smoke out of his nose? No, it's actually Rep. John Carter (R - Tex). Oops. Looks like the apocalypse is actually coming out of right field. Literally.