Immigrant, Please Wash My Dishes
Immigration must be one of the most misconceived processes in the world. You fill out a load of papers, take a test or five, learn more about the Constitution than half of America's "real" citizens, and then bask in the joy and glory of washing my dishes. But this is the American Dream! From a lowly dishwasher, one can move up to such prestigious posts as the Walmart cashier or, god forbid, Lynbrook janitor.
You wish. You see, there's a substantial portion of America that is lazy, stupid, and natural-born. They'll wash your dishes...for twenty bucks an hour. So when they see these slant-eyed gooks storm the classified ads they get pissed. "Why does this boy from China have the right to take my job?", they wonder. Then they get pissed and go on strike - "LIMIT IMMIGRATION", "KEEP AMERICAN JOBS IN AMERICA". They don't want your immigrant ass washing no dirty plates of theirs.
Guess what, my protesting boys and girls - you're a bunch of fat lazy dumbasses. Why does Walmart hire the plump immigrant, mother of seven, and not you, the red blooded American? How do these crazy Mexicans steal your jobs? Do they lie in wait as you return, fresh from a successful job interview, to ambush you and take it? Actually, maybe it's because posess these three incredible traits:
1. They don't feel like they have a god-given right to every workers compensation plan under the sun
2. They're willing to get up off their asses and do some work for once in their lives
3. They can't afford lawyers.
Complaining about people stealing your job is like complaining about me stealing your air. You know, there's a chance that the water you're drinking was once part of Bill Clinton's semen. Welcome to America.
You wish. You see, there's a substantial portion of America that is lazy, stupid, and natural-born. They'll wash your dishes...for twenty bucks an hour. So when they see these slant-eyed gooks storm the classified ads they get pissed. "Why does this boy from China have the right to take my job?", they wonder. Then they get pissed and go on strike - "LIMIT IMMIGRATION", "KEEP AMERICAN JOBS IN AMERICA". They don't want your immigrant ass washing no dirty plates of theirs.
Guess what, my protesting boys and girls - you're a bunch of fat lazy dumbasses. Why does Walmart hire the plump immigrant, mother of seven, and not you, the red blooded American? How do these crazy Mexicans steal your jobs? Do they lie in wait as you return, fresh from a successful job interview, to ambush you and take it? Actually, maybe it's because posess these three incredible traits:
1. They don't feel like they have a god-given right to every workers compensation plan under the sun
2. They're willing to get up off their asses and do some work for once in their lives
3. They can't afford lawyers.
Complaining about people stealing your job is like complaining about me stealing your air. You know, there's a chance that the water you're drinking was once part of Bill Clinton's semen. Welcome to America.
posted by FISHYBADGER at 10:36 PM
1 Comments:
Bravo.
ewww. I'm going to put myself through some self-inflicted dehydration cuz of that last comment.
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